April f'in Fools, Nanerpus

April FOOLS LOL LOL LOL LOL! I hate April Fools day. I hate it. People always say dumbass shit that you know isn't true, because "it's funny". It's like a really bad prank. You already know whats coming, I mean wow, it's an entire day made out just to bullshit one another. I can't wait till one of the assholes that actually participates in it has.. I dunno.. their mom die.
"Jon* your mom died."
"Hahah, good one!"
"No, she really did."
That would make my year. Because well all know a "Jon". His loving (now dead, hahah) mother gave him the sweet name of Jonathan Edward Wilkerson, and he goes and abuses everyone. The co-worker nobody wants, essentially. As you can tell, my hate for April fools is caused by those who participate in it, because they're all the same. Like the time I was being told my stuff was being vandalized, to come up and look. So.. I didn't move, because it was April Fools day. And as you know, they kept trying. Dude, really, come look! Nah.. that's okay. Eventually after 26 tries they say "April Fools! GOT YOU! Too bad your no fun." If I'm no fun, how did you get me?

I hate those April Fools Douchers, and their tag line.

Oh Nanerpus... It's been a long couple of weeks. Being as bored as I have been, I've been influenced to start new games. As seen in recent blogs, some involve the English language. The sentence challenge game for example. The newest word is "summon", because it's cooler than "call", and it makes me sound like I play D&D. The best part about the sentence challege game, is well, Mr. Confucius informed me even if you use the word in a way that makes no sense people still think you kow what it means. Example:
"That santa hat really rhetoricalizes the fetish."
People say, oh, he must know what rhetorical means! You feel kind of accomplished. Just like that one game your really good at but nobody else has ever played? That kind of feeling. Maybe better.

I was not feeling as good the other day however. I said hey, I'm wearing a blink 182 shirt, it pays to do this while attempting to be humorous. I also wore white knee socks under my jeans. In an attempt to humor some friends of mine, I showed them. They were disgusted and basically freaked the fuck out... I didn't understand this. As you, my beloved dongles probably already know, I am a sarcastic, fairly amusing whether your laughing at me or with me person, and I did this only for my own laughs. Of course my motives always go unnoticed. My favorite example of my attention whoring for laughs was in a theme park. The pathetic state of Florida's own Busch Gardens. There I was with a few friends, waiting in line for Gwazi. As planned, I was to say "AND IT WAS ALL RED WHEN IT CAME OUT!" as loud as possible. Generally when someone hears a sentence like this or "MY DAD NEVER USED LUBE ON ME!" people turn around. God somehow silenced the world at the exact time I decided to say it, and literally everyone in the line turned and stared at me. Perhaps it makes you question things about me, but that's me for ya.

Shoutout goes to one of my long time friends (who happened to laugh at my socks). Fuck yo couch!

*- I don't know about you, but most Jons I know are assholes. Like half of them. Maybe because assholes are common, and John/Jon is the most common name, but regardless... You know a Jon who's an asshole, and he participates in April Fools day.



You stay classy San Diego,

Matt "M21, Fleece, Mr. Hollywood" Stephen