Yard Sale

This weekend I had to help my mom with her yard-sale. I was a bit against this even though I knew I'd get a free trip to dinner on the town after it, because, well, you know the kind of people that go to yard-sales.. and.. ouch. These people remind me of those Geico commercials that suck. How fucking long did they stretch those cavemen commercials anyway? Wow.. So continuing on, you know the kind of people that go to yard sales, and you also know you don't like them. The phanny pack people. Pastey white legs, short denim shorts, straped down to Earth sandles, and a random shirt dated before 2004. Sounds like my first blog post ever... Hmm. Well, they're the kind of people you wouldn't trust with a jar of peanut butter. And I don't even use Jif for anything but my dog, "Mystery". For those that don't know what the fuck I'm talking about- read the last paragraph in the last blog, or if you're too lazy, just look at this. Or this. Anyway, you know if your running a yardsale you run into those "Customers" that think they're way smarter than you, and try to use something that makes no sense to prove their point. For example, we had a lamp that had been kind of wobbly at the base, and was not kidding, 25 cents. So a guy comes over to me and starts hounding me about the lamp and how it's wobbly. I told him to stick a washer in the base, and it'd be fine. He freaks out, basically acting like I should give it to him for free (hehe) or fix it for him. I tell him, dude, it's 25 cents, so stop bitching, or leave. This didn't go over well, and is pretty much why I hate yardsales. I did get dinner out of it though, so its not all bad.

At dinner, we sat near one of those people with an extremely loud annoying laugh. The obnoxious HAHAHA or the something similar, only with a snort. The same laugh that I mimic after a while, because honestly, I want them to either get pissed about me mimicing them, or get so upset about it they blow their brains out later that day. Such people aren't worthy of oxygen. Like this girl. Did she seriously carve her Satanist writing into a fucking door? Bitch do that on your skin! Nobody wants to have to pay to replace stuff cause your a dumbass! She probably doesn't understand that. Her understanding is more skewed than the common belief on what Thomas Jefferson really thought of religion, or if the lead singer of Coheed and Cambria is really a guy or not.

I'll leave you to ponder. My shoutout is too a friend who is.. well.. just watch the video, you'll get an idea of what she's about.



You stay classy San Diego,

Matt "M21, Fleece, Mr. Hollywood" Stephen